


hand-picked and ready to deliver

by garbagecannot



Series: next gens [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Captain Squad 2.0, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Drama, Flirting, Friendship, Gen, Innuendo, Non-binary Akaashi, Tumblr Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8223584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagecannot/pseuds/garbagecannot
Summary: shirabae: you’ll never defeat meshirabae: not in volleyball, not in memes, nothingfutakuchis: what about in height :^)shirabae: do you want to dieThe next generation of captains do their best.





	

**Author's Note:**

> when you're so hyped for season 3 that you write this absolute monstrosity. also I've decided to use tora as nekoma's cap, so thank you for everyone who suggested it! this one does have references to 'fresh or something' and 'back again', so it'd be rad if you read those first, but hey, I can't tell you what to do. now join me once again in self-indulgence land
> 
> beta-read by [galaxy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyAqua)!

**Conversation Title:** Fresh Captains Episode 13: Revenge of the Asymmetrical Haircut

**Conversation description:**

If I say ‘no’ enough times, will this system cease to exist? – e. chikara

bughhh it’s too early for your existential crisis – f. kenji

‘no’ is futile. you have to say ‘fuck this shit I’m flying to the sun’ – s. kenjirou

fun fact: if you went to the sun, you would die – a. keiji

incredible. amazing. mind = blown – y. shigeru 

WHATS NEW PUSSYCAT – t. yuuji

**Current members:**

futakuchis

shirabae

classyahaba

ennosuffering

time2party

Hootkaashi

**classyahaba:** ok but

 **classyahaba:** I’m in one of those moods

 **classyahaba:** you know the one

 **classyahaba:** where I’m angry but I’m not allowed to show it and that just makes me angrier?

 **classyahaba:** you should all join me

 **classyahaba:** we can pool together our combined inner rage

 **Hootkaashi:** edgy

 **Hootkaashi:** what supervillain are you trying to turn into today?

 **classyahaba:** one that is a winner

 **Hootkaashi:** shigeru you’re already a winner

 **classyahaba:** don’t be nice to me I’m angry right now

 **Hootkaashi:** oh ok

 **Hootkaashi:** you’re a loser and I don’t like you

 **classyahaba:** wow

 **Hootkaashi:** all jokes aside though, I hope you get over your anger soon

 **classyahaba:** it’s not gonna happen

 **classyahaba:** but thanks

 **futakuchis:** yeah akaashi don’t you know

 **futakuchis:** the reason why yahaba’s hair is always perfect is because he styles it with rage

 **classyahaba:** it’s natural actually

 **futakuchis:** “natural” he says as he wakes up at 3:59 in the AM to comb through his luscious silky caramel locks with five cans of hair product and a silver plated top quality hairbrush gifted from the gods

 **Hootkaashi:** futakuchi

 **Hootkaashi:** a) what the fuck was that

 **Hootkaashi:** b) leave him alone he is angry

 **futakuchis:** HE’S ALWAYS ANGRY

 **classyahaba:** I’m not always angry!

 **shirabae:** yahaba be like “I can be your angle or yuor devil”

 **classyahaba:** now I’m even angrier

 **shirabae:** point proven

* * *

 

 **ennosuffering:** it’s spelt “angel”?

 **shirabae:** it’s a meme

 **ennosuffering:** man I can honestly never keep up these days

 **Hootkaashi:** stop talking like you’re old

 **Hootkaashi:** you’re the youngest one here

 **Hootkaashi:** december 26 … an actual child

 **ennosuffering:** I’m born right after christmas though

 **ennosuffering:** because I’m the gift you never deserved

 **shirabae:** shit man are you taken

 **ennosuffering:** am I taken?

 **ennosuffering:** aren’t YOU taken?

 **Hootkaashi:** I’m taken

 **ennosuffering:** you are?

 **Hootkaashi:** taken for granted, yes

 **Hootkaashi:** my name is Akaashi Keiji and I am suffering

 **shirabae:** listen… that was good

 **shirabae:** I relate to you

 **Hootkaashi:** you’re right I get that a lot

 **futakuchis:** oh yeah idk if you guys knew, but yahaba’s actually the youngest

 **futakuchis:** he’s march 1st the year after all of us

 **shirabae:** yahaba shigeru is a literal baby

 **Hootkaashi:** oh that’s why he has such … youthful features

 **ennosuffering:** yahaba is weirdly tall for his age but I want to touch his adorable face

 **classyahaba:** one more word from you people and that’s it

 **futakuchis:** LOOK AT THAT we’ve summoned him

 **classyahaba:** my question is how did you know that???

 **classyahaba:** I sure didn’t tell you :/

 **Hootkaashi:** are we all going to ignore what ennoshita just said

 **futakuchis:** you have a fan club. they’re cute I asked them

 **classyahaba:** you … asked them

 **futakuchis:** I paid them in pictures of you on that horse

 **classyahaba:** FUTAKUCHI 

 **Hootkaashi:** run

* * *

 

 **time2party:** late but I would like to start some discourse

 **Hootkaashi:** oh no

 **time2party:** REGARDING YAHABA’S HAIR COLOR

 **time2party:** kenji used the phrase ‘caramel locks’ but I beg to differ

 **Hootkaashi:** I mean

 **time2party:** I think it’s more of a peach color

 **Hootkaashi:** … ok no that’s even further from the truth than we started

 **Hootkaashi:** it’s like…

 **Hootkaashi:** silvery-brown?

 **time2party:** it’s peach

 **Hootkaashi:** it is most definitely not peach

 **ennosuffering:** why are we debating Yahaba’s hair color in the first place? Does it really matter? Why don’t you just ask Yahaba?

 **time2party:** ENNOSHITA!!!!!!!! MY LOVE MY ANGLE

 **time2party:** DID U MISS ME

 **ennosuffering:** I mean

 **ennosuffering:** you misspelled angel

 **time2party:** of course u missed me

 **time2party:** CAUSE THE PARTY

 **time2party:** DON’T

 **time2party:** START

 **time2party:** TIL I WALK IN

 **time2party:** cue beat drop

 **time2party:** cue johzenji rave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **ennosuffering:** um

 **time2party:** NOOP BOOP BA DIP DOP

 **time2party:** loud yelling

 **time2party:** loud screeching

 **time2party:** sound of waves hitting the ocean shore

 **time2party:** MORE YELLING BC WE’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE OCEAN

 **time2party:** PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING IN SPANISH

 **time2party:** THE SKY IS FALLING AND THE EARTH IS ALIVE

 **ennosuffering:** what

 **time2party:** it’s the end of the universe

 **time2party:** I’ve got karasuno’s captain in my arms

 **ennosuffering:** no I’m going to cut you off right there

 **time2party:** aww :( I didn’t even get to the best part yet

 **ennosuffering:** please keep your fantasies to yourself

 **ennosuffering:** honestly where do you get all this energy?

 **time2party:** hmmm extracurricular activities ;)

 **ennosuffering:** seriously? volleyball just makes me more tired

 **Hootkaashi:** other extracurricular activities, ennoshita

 **time2party:** u got it hoothoot ;)

 **ennosuffering:** …

 **ennosuffering:** you have time for other extracurricular activities?

 **time2party:** I have time for u if that’s what ur asking

 **ennosuffering:** I’m not asking

 **ennosuffering:** so why are we debating Yahaba’s hair color again?

 **time2party:** what if I want to write fanfic

 **time2party:** and I don’t know how to describe his hair color?

 **time2party:** WHAT WILL I DO THEN

 **ennosuffering:** you worry me, sometimes

 **Hootkaashi:** he worries me all the time

 **time2party:** AWWW SO U DO CARE!!

 **Hootkaashi:** ah

 **Hootkaashi:** ‘care’ would be a bit of a stretch

 **ennosuffering:** oh ouch

 **time2party:** heartbreaker </3

* * *

 

 **futakuchis:** what up my dudes

 **time2party:** u wanna know what’s up ;^)

 **time2party:** u should come over ;^) come see what’s… up

 **futakuchis:** uhh

 **futakuchis:** I don’t think I wanna know what’s up anymore

 **shirabae:** wise

 **shirabae:** I don’t trust people who put noses in their smilies anyway

 **futakuchis:** smilies

 **futakuchis:** shirabu said smilies

 **shirabae:** that’s what they are though? smilies

 **time2party:** babe … nobody says smilies anymore

 **shirabae:** nobody cares

 **time2party:** I care!! fresh captains can’t have u talkin like that

 **shirabae:** smilies smilies smilies

 **time2party:** u,, are cute,, but also a brat,,,

 **shirabae:** says the biggest brat

 **time2party:** who dat be… the boy in the mirror?

 **shirabae:** the boy in your mirror, yeah

 **futakuchis:** does anyone ever win with shirabu

 **shirabae:** I’d like to see you try… bitch

 **time2party:** dam kenji he got u there

 **futakuchis:** ur right…  I am a bitch

 **futakuchis:** thanks

 **shirabae:** don’t thank me, I was trying to insult you.

 **futakuchis:** ayyy lmaooo

 **shirabae:** ‘ayyy lmaooo’ all you want

 **shirabae:** you’ll never defeat me

 **shirabae:** not in volleyball, not in memes, nothing

 **futakuchis:** what about in height :^)

 **shirabae:** do you want to die

* * *

 

 **time2party:** guys I’m

 **time2party:** I want to fleeenf

 **time2party:** I want you to haifnve

 **time2party:** I want to fly ;)

 **futakuchis:** I’m pretty sure that’s not what you wanted to say

 **time2party:** no I want to

 **time2party:** send you all pictures of my beautiful face

 

_time2party has sent an image._

 

 **futakuchis:** uuuuhhhhh

 **futakuchis:** that’s... not your face

 **time2party:** ;0 can u confirm

 **futakuchis:** um yes?? I know what your face looks like

 **time2party:** do u really …

 **ennosuffering:** I want to fry a dumpling

 **time2party:** wait what

 **time2party:** that’s not the reaction I was expecting

 **time2party:** but I’m flexible

 **time2party:** I’ll fry ur dumpling ;)

 **ennosuffering:** I want to submerge all the dumplings in sizzling hot oil and watch them slowly burn into a crisp

 **time2party:** …

 **time2party:** I’d submerge u in hot oil ;)

 **futakuchis:** HOW DID WE GET HERE I WAS ONLY GONE FOR 20 SECS

 **time2party:** 20 secs of hot oil madness

 **time2party:** glistening golden ooze dripping down ur body

 **futakuchis:** wtf the fuck is happenign

 **ennosuffering:** ^ what the fuck the fuck is happening

 **futakuchis:** ennoshita no

 **time2party:** why is it hot when u swear

 **ennosuffering:** don’t talk to me unless you use acronyms correctly

 **ennosuffering:** and Terushima for your own sake, let’s just pretend this conversation never happened

 **futakuchis:** ENNOSHITA

 **time2party:** what happened to the dumplings :( we need to finish the story

 **ennosuffering:** in other news, where’s Akaashi?

 **ennosuffering:** I need to borrow his business tactics handbook

 **futakuchis:** are you actually ignoring me

 **time2party:** give me hugs and compensation or a good time

 **ennosuffering:** I have the sudden and urgent need to photocopy and preserve chapter 7

 **ennosuffering:** “how to deal with difficult and annoying people”

 **futakuchis:** HEY

 **time2party:** why must you play this game

 **shirabae:** rip in peace

 **Hootkaashi:** ^ rest in peace in peace

 **Hootkaashi:** I’ll send you the files ennoshita

 **futakuchis:** I hate you all

* * *

 

 **time2party:** sighs

 **shirabae:** why are you sighing

 **time2party:** gay sighing

 **shirabae:** never mind I don’t want to know

 **Hootkaashi:** ah, gay sighing

 **Hootkaashi:** the sound of my kind of people

 **time2party:** u get me

 **Hootkaashi:** so why the sigh? any particular reason?

 **time2party:** I mean ok u know how

 **time2party:** sometimes u see girls and ur like HELL YEAH

 **time2party:** but then sometimes u see guys and it’s like

 **time2party:** LOUD AND HEAVY GAY SIGHING

 **Hootkaashi:** so you’re having a sexuality crisis again?

 **time2party:** I MEAN GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY

 **time2party:** BUT BOYS DO YOU FEEL

 **Hootkaashi:** I mean I’m not bi like you are, but I can empathise

 **time2party:** ahhhhh wait is it ok to talk to u about this??? is it weird for u??

 **Hootkaashi:** frankly this is amusing

 **time2party:** wait I don’t want to talk to u about this

 **time2party:** ur hot and it will ruin my image

 **Hootkaashi:** it’s a bit too late for that

 **shirabae:** savage

 **time2party:** SHIRABU UR STILL HERE

 **time2party:** JOIN ME IN LOUD AND HEAVY GAY SIGHING

 **shirabae:** I don’t like the way you phrased that

 **shirabae:** try again please

 **time2party:** join me in roaring and burdensome homosexual breathing

 **shirabae:** I

 **shirabae:** that’s not any better

 **shirabae:** in fact it might even be worse

* * *

 

 **futakuchis:** hello

 **futakuchis:** hello?

 **futakuchis:** hellooooooooooo

 **futakuchis:** is it only me here

 **futakuchis:** this is rare

 **futakuchis:** someone come talk to me I’m bored

 **futakuchis:** oh well

 **futakuchis:** if nobody comes to talk to me I’m going to start changing people’s names

 **futakuchis:** don’t say I didn’t warn you

 **futakuchis:** anybody????

 **futakuchis:** so nobody objects to me changing their names

 **futakuchis:** HELLOOOO????????????

 **futakuchis:** tch

 **futakuchis:** none of you care about me

 **futakuchis:** you’re all fake friends and I am offended

 

_futakuchis has changed classyahaba’s name to yahabae._

**futakuchis:** wow yahaba and shirabu matching screennames

 **futakuchis:** never thought I’d see the day

 **futakuchis:** yahashira otp

 **yahabae:** futakuchi when I kill you no-one will ever find your body

 **futakuchis:** YAHABA IS HERE!!!

 **shirabae:** back off yahaba I’m killing him first

 **futakuchis:** SHIRABU IS HERE TOO!!!

 **yahabae:** it’s not a competition

 **shirabae:** it is now

 **yahabae:** you can’t make it a competition, I said it before you did

 **shirabae:** you’ve got creampuff hair

 **shirabae:** you don’t get to say anything

 **yahabae:** I just did though

 **futakuchis:** yahashira otp moments compilation part 1

 **shirabae:** FUTAKUCHI

 **yahabae:** FUTAKUCHI

 **futakuchis:** I feel so loved now

 **futakuchis:** all these people … screaming my name …

 **Hootkaashi:** have you considered: not making it worse

 **futakuchis:** what was that … I can’t hear you over everyone screaming my name …

 **Hootkaashi:** they scream in fear

 **futakuchis:** FEAR OF HOW GREAT I AM

 **yahabae:** I call dibs on killing futakuchi

 **futakuchis:** get in line oikawa junior

* * *

 

 **ennosuffering:** alright guys

 **ennosuffering:** long time no see

 **ennosuffering:** but I have a proposal

 **time2party:** UR GETTING MARRIED? SINCE WHEN

 **time2party:** MORE IMPORTANTLY

 **time2party:** AM I INVITED TO THE WEDDING

 **time2party:** I would like to play the groom ;)

 **futakuchis:** SMOOTH AF

 **ennosuffering:** no, no, and no

 **futakuchis:** ENNOSHITA NICE RECEIVE

 **ennosuffering:** Volleyball references will get you nowhere.

 **ennosuffering:** Anyway. Proposal.

 **time2party:** ur proposing to me???? aww, u shouldn’t have!

 **ennosuffering:** I’m not

 **ennosuffering:** can you let me talk please

 **shirabae:** let mom speak

 **ennosuffering:** Shirabu

 **shirabae:** sorry mom

 **ennosuffering:** it’s about volleyball practice

 **ennosuffering:** I was thinking we could schedule like a round robin thing?

 **ennosuffering:** so it would be like a mini tournament and people can win prizes

 **time2party:** I heard prizes I’m in

 **futakuchis:** hmmmmmmmmmm

 **futakuchis:** something about this set up strikes me as weird

 **shirabae:** says the weird one

 **futakuchis:** I wonder

 **futakuchis:** ennoshita this wouldn’t be because you need some sound and footage for your film project, right?

 **ennosuffering:** I have no idea what you’re talking about

 **time2party:** if I get duped, at least I get duped by a hot guy ;)

 **time2party:** am I right or am I right?

 **ennosuffering:** but anyway I feel like a fun little competition would be good

 **ennosuffering:** you don’t have to go all out

 **ennosuffering:** just get ready for karasuno to kick your asses

 **shirabae:** oh you did not just say that

 **ennosuffering:** :^)

 **shirabae:** I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS

 **shirabae:** YOU TOO WITH THE NOSES?

 **shirabae:** LEAVE THE SMILIES ALONE

 **ennosuffering:** karasunoooo fightttt

 **shirabae:** I’ll be there just to make you eat your words

 **time2party:** I want karasuno to kick my ass … in bed

 **shirabae:** get away from this chat you nasty human being

* * *

 

 **futakuchis:** /revs engines

 **shirabae:** you can’t drive, you don’t have a license

 **futakuchis:** /revs illegal engines

 

_time2party has changed time2party’s name to engines._

**engines:** baby you can rev me anytime ;)

 **futakuchis:** dude…

 **futakuchis:** dont make it weird

 **engines:** vroom vroom

 **shirabae:** what the fuck is this

 **shirabae:** I didn’t sign up for weird roleplay

 **engines:** ride me shirabae

 **shirabae:** you’re disgusting

 **yahabae:** you don’t ride engines though??? that’s not the point of an engine??

 **engines:** ur ruining my dirty talk yahaboo

 **yahabae:** wow what a shame

 

_yahabae has changed engines’ name to TerushimaYuuji._

**TerushimaYuuji:** WTF DON’T BE BORING

 **TerushimaYuuji:** THAT’S SO BORING

 **yahabae:** do I look like I care

 **TerushimaYuuji:** u know fuckin What

 **futakuchis:** what angelcakes

 **TerushimaYuuji:** shh not now honeybuns

 **TerushimaYuuji:** this whole chat is gettin a makeover

 **TerushimaYuuji:** I’M RIOTING

 **TerushimaYuuji:** IM CALLING THE FUN POLICE

 **TerushimaYuuji:** CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP

 

_TerushimaYuuji has changed yahabae’s name to YahooooPrettyBoy._

_TerushimaYuuji has changed futakuchis’ name to carfucker._

**YahooooPrettyBoy:** I’m

 **carfucker:** well this is inappropriate

 **shirabae:** disgusting DISGUSTING

 **shirabae:** GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT

 

_TerushimaYuuji has changed shirabae’s name to shitSON._

**TerushimaYuuji:** shit son

 **TerushimaYuuji:** u need to chill

_TerushimaYuuji has changed TerushimaYuuji’s name to ultimateBabe._

_ennosuffering has removed ultimateBabe from the conversation._

**ennosuffering:** bam and the dirt is gone

 **YahooooPrettyBoy:** a true blessing in disguise

 **ennosuffering:** now, time to fix things up a bit

 

_ennosuffering has changed carfucker’s name to NiceFutakuchi._

_ennosuffering has changed shitSON’s name to NiceShirabu._

**NiceShirabu:** stop converting us

 **NiceShirabu:** I don’t want this name

 **NiceFutakuchi:** Ennoshita think I’m nice? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

 **NiceShirabu:** literally nobody thinks that

_ennosuffering has changed YahooooPrettyBoy’s name to NiceYahaba._

_ennosuffering has changed ennosuffering’s name to NiceEnnoshita._

**NiceYahaba:** OH GOD STOP

 **NiceYahaba:** I DON’T WANT US ALL TO MATCH

 **NiceYahaba:** THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

_NiceEnnoshita has changed Hootkaashi’s name to NiceAkaashi._

**NiceShirabu:** is this really necessary

 **NiceEnnoshita:** isn’t it?

 **NiceYahaba:** ennoshita I trusted you

 **NiceYahaba:** trust = broken

 **NiceEnnoshita:** k

 

_NiceEnnoshita has added ultimateBabe to the conversation._

**ultimateBabe:** GUYS IM SORRY DON’T BLOCK M

 **NiceFutakuchi:** Nice, Terushima

 **ultimateBabe:** E I HAVE HAD MY FILL TODAY I’M DONE I’M

 

_NiceEnnoshita has changed ultimateBabe’s name to NiceTerushima._

**NiceTerushima:** what????

 **NiceFutakuchi:** welcome back

 **NiceTerushima:** WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

 **NiceTerushima:** am I missing out on something

 **NiceTerushima:** what’s the joke here…

 **NiceShirabu:** you

 **NiceYahaba:** oh yeah. real mature, shirabu.

 **NiceShirabu:** big words coming from a baby

 **NiceFutakuchi:** using pet names now, are we

 **NiceYahaba:** the only one on your team shorter than you is your libero

 **NiceYahaba:** FUTAKUCHI! GET!! OUT!!!!

 **NiceAkaashi:** oh? Hello, what do we have here?

 **NiceFutakuchi:** hey akaashi what do you think of our new names

 **NiceAkaashi:** I see ennoshita taught you all to play nice

 **NiceAkaashi:** 11/10

 **NiceYahaba:** …………

 **NiceAkaashi:** nice

* * *

 

 **NiceEnnoshita:** nope nope nope

 **NiceEnnoshita:** I’ve changed my mind

 **NiceEnnoshita:** this is making my eyes ugh so much

 

_NiceEnnoshita has changed NiceEnnoshita’s name to ennoway._

**NiceFutakuchi:** ENNOWAY

 

_ennoway has changed NiceFutakuchi’s name to shut up futakuchi._

**NiceTerushima:** SHOT DOWN

 **NiceYahaba:** amazing

 

_ennoway has changed NiceTerushima’s name to BadTerushima._

_ennoway has changed NiceYahaba’s name to SonOfOikawa._

**shut up futakuchi:** why are you letting him do this

 **NiceAkaashi:** don’t judge

 **NiceAkaashi:** let him be himself

 **SonOfOikawa:** he cannot be stopped

 **BadTerushima:** quick someone sing bad boy @ me

 **SonOfOikawa:** what? ‘be my bad boy, be my man’?

 **BadTerushima:** BE MY WEEKEND LOVER

 **BadTerushima:** BUT DON’T BE MY FRIEND ;)

 **shut up futakuchi:** can we not bring this song back please

 **BadTerushima:** can we blast this song at max volume please

 **shut up futakuchi:** ugh why is life so terrible and unfair

 **SonOfOikawa:** shut up futakuchi

 **shut up futakuchi:** why must you attack me like this

 

_NiceAkaashi has changed shut up futakuchi’s name to futakuchi is ok I guess._

**futakuchi is ok I guess:** wow thanks akaashi

 **NiceAkaashi:** you’re welcome

 **futakuchi is ok I guess:** I swear you’re all doing this on purpose

 

_ennoway has changed NiceShirabu’s name to shirabunbun._

**shirabunbun:** what the fuck

 **SonOfOikawa:** LMAO

 **BadTerushima:** THAT’S ADORABLE HOLY SHIT

 **BadTerushima:** BUN BUN SHIRABU

 **BadTerushima:** SHIRABUNNY????

 **futakuchi is ok I guess:** omg wow why does shirabu get a cute nickname

_BadTerushima has changed futakuchi is ok I guess’s name to futacchi._

**BadTerushima:** ur cute now ur welcome honey

 **futacchi:** BABE

 

_futacchi has changed BadTerushima’s name to teru-chan._

**teru-chan:** im cute now too!!!

 **teru-chan:** aw im so flattered thank u

 **futacchi:** ur welcome

 **teru-chan:** blows u kisses

 **futacchi:** blows kisses back

 **SonOfOikawa:** for the love of

 **SonOfOikawa:** keep the pda out of the chat please

 **teru-chan:** are u jealous yahaba

 **futacchi:** blows yahaba kisses

 **SonOfOikawa:** please leave me alone

 **teru-chan:** omg weird question but

 **teru-chan:** yahaba are u blushing rn

 **SonOfOikawa:** what??? no???

 **teru-chan:** dammit kenji try harder

 **futacchi:** what?

 **teru-chan:** I’ve shipped futayaha since day one

 **teru-chan:** where’s my extra gay content

 **teru-chan:** I need sustenance

 **teru-chan:** I need to live

 **futacchi:** but…

 **futacchi:** I ship yahashira…

 **futacchi:** have you seen the way they look at each other

 **SonOfOikawa:** I ship both of you and death

 **NiceAkaashi:** A ship war? In this group chat?

 **NiceAkaashi:** It’s more likely than you think.

 **shirabunbun:** yahaba x his shitty hair

 **shirabunbun:** yahaba x his bathroom mirror

 **shirabunbun:** yahaba x his silver plated top quality hairbrush gifted from the gods

 **shirabunbun:** yahaba x his oikawa shrine

 **shirabunbun:** yahaba x that wing spiker that he hates (read: loves)

 **SonOfOikawa:** shirabu literally what the fuck

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** so does anyone want to tell me what’s actually going on in yahaba’s love life

 **SonOfOikawa:** please drop this immediately

 **futacchi:** yahaba sleep-dialled me once

 **SonOfOikawa:** I did no such thing!!

 **teru-chan:** TELL ME MORE

 **SonOfOikawa:** THERE’S NOTHING TO TELL

 **ennoway:** is there really nothing happening down your avenue

 **SonOfOikawa:** nothing. and I’d like to keep it that way

 **shirabunbun:** why the fuck you lyin why you always lyin

 **shirabunbun:** mmmm oh mY GOD

 **shirabunbun:** STOP FUCKIN LYIN

 **ennoway:** SHIRABU GO TO THE TIME OUT CORNER

 **shirabunbun:** you’re not the boss of me

* * *

 

 **teru-chan:** shirabu have u seen urself

 **shirabunbun:** yes why

 **teru-chan:** ur beautiful

 **shirabunbun:** I don’t want to hear that from you

 **teru-chan:** ur like so fukcign cute and I lov ur hair and its funny when u get mad bc ur face gets all … rosy and shit

 **shirabunbun:** are you drunk

 **teru-chan:** no I just have eyes

 **SonOfOikawa:** teru preying on the setters again I see

 **teru-chan:** yahaba will u give me cpr if I die

 **SonOfOikawa:** you’re implying I would be around to do so?  

 **teru-chan:** don’t lie…. u will always be by my side

 

_teru-chan has changed SonOfOikawa’s name to yahabasanchan._

 

 **shirabunbun:** what is happening

 **teru-chan:** I… will always love u…

 **NiceAkaashi:** what’s going on

 **yahabasanchan:** at this point, does anybody know what’s going on?

 

_teru-chan has changed NiceAkaashi’s name to prettyakaashi._

 

 **prettyakaashi:** slightly miffed by this change

 **prettyakaashi:** I’m not pretty akaashi? I’m actually very akaashi? I kind of am akaashi?

 **prettyakaashi:** this is false advertising

 

_shirabunbun changed prettyakaashi’s name to veryakaashi._

 

 **veryakaashi:** thank you shirabu

 **shirabunbun:** np

 **yahabasanchan:** keiji did you just try and fail to make a dad joke

 **veryakaashi:** never

 **yahabasanchan:** just asking…

 **shirabunbun:** akaashi could never fail at anything

 **veryakaashi:** that’s so nice of you

 **veryakaashi:** it’s almost weird

 **veryakaashi:** actually it IS weird

 **veryakaashi:** are you the real shirabu kenjirou?

 **shirabunbun:** am I?

 **teru-chan:** who are we really

 **teru-chan:** the sun will explode and the world will one day die

 **teru-chan:** so give me ur number pls I’ll show u a good time

 **veryakaashi:** when will terushima stop

 **shirabunbun:** if he did it’d be the 8th wonder of the world

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** so… I’m free this weekend, surprisingly

 **teru-chan:** what a coincidence I am too

 **teru-chan:** this must be fate

 **veryakaashi:** oh look I’m free too

 **veryakaashi:** what a surprise

 **shirabunbun:** it’s a public holiday you morons

 **veryakaashi:** :^)

 **shirabunbun:** why do you have to do this? why do you have to taint smilies in this way? it doesn’t need a fucking nose, it was perfectly fine without a nose and you just had to give it a goddamn nose like you have the RIGHT to dictate what a smily should BE, you complete and utter ASSHAT

 **veryakaashi:** :^(

 **ennoway:** :-)

 **teru-chan:** :o)

 **shirabunbun:** I’m logging off

 **ennoway:** so anyway about this weekend

 **ennoway:** remember that round robin thing I mentioned?

 **teru-chan:** time place date hit me up babe

 **ennoway:** well, you have to at least bring 6 people from your team

 **ennoway:** but otherwise… karasuno at 9am? The entire weekend (or whenever you can make it)? Let me know if you’re coming though, so I can let my coach know and he can let the school know etc etc

 **teru-chan:** AWESOME

 **veryakaashi:** am I invited

 **ennoway:** no

 **veryakaashi:** great I’ll be there at 10

* * *

 

 **futacchi:** ooohhh weekend volleyball, my favorite

 **ennoway:** can datekou make it?

 **futacchi:** probs though I’ll need to physically drag pantalons out of bed

 **futacchi:** I’ll get aone to do it he owes me

 **ennoway:** who is pantalons?

 **futacchi:** uhh

 **futacchi:** wing spiker on my team? 3rd year? looks sleepy and has lame poofy hair?

 **ennoway:** what is pantalons’ real name

 **futacchi:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **futacchi:** pantalons is his real name

 **ennoway:** …

 **ennoway:** well good luck getting him out of bed captain-I-don’t-know-my-teammate’s-names

 **futacchi:** PANTALONS IS HIS NAME

 **yahabasanchan:** late but seijou can’t make it

 **ennoway:** bullshit get your ass over here

 **futacchi:** WHY SUDDENLY SO AGGRESSIVE

 **ennoway:** sorry that was tanaka

 **futacchi:** I swear you always say that just to maintain your innocent and good image

 **ennoway:** my what bruh fuckin fight me

 **ennoway:** sorry tanaka stole my phone again

 **futacchi:** you are not fooling anybody

 **yahabasanchan:** anyway seijou can’t make it

 **ennoway:** seijou can make it I asked kyoutani

 **yahabasanchan:** W H A T

 **yahabasanchan:** AND I WAS NOT INFORMED???

 **yahabasanchan:** I AM THE CAPTAIN

 **yahabasanchan:** WHO GIVES HIM THE FUCKING RIGHT

 

_ennoway has added kyoutan to the conversation._

**ennoway:** tell your captain what we spoke about

 **kyoutan:** fuck I told yahaba I didnt hav skype

 **yahabasanchan:** W H A T

 **yahabasanchan:** YOU

 **yahabasanchan:** KYOUTANI YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THIS

 **kyoutan:** nothin

 **yahabasanchan:** speak

 **kyoutan:** I said we hav traingn camp n we would b nearby

 **kyoutan:** im not friends w karasuno captn tho just the other guy

 **yahabasanchan:** wait you have friends???

 **kyoutan:** fuck u

 **kyoutan:** bye

 

_kyoutan has left the conversation._

**ennoway:** yahaba that wasn’t very nice  

 **yahabasanchan:** you don’t understand, we don’t get along very well

 **futacchi:** I thought you got over this? you guys became friends too, right?

 **yahabasanchan:** im just a shitty person ok I get it

 **ennoway:** don’t say that!

 **futacchi:** haha yeah you are

 **ennoway:** futakuchi, don’t agree!

 **futacchi:** but you’re a shitty person with feelings ok

 **futacchi:** just try and work things out instead of overthinking it

 **ennoway:** better

 **yahabasanchan:** sorry

 **yahabasanchan:** I was trying to keep my personal problems out of your lives

 **yahabasanchan:** that’s why I didn’t actually want to go to your thing ennoshita

 **yahabasanchan:** sorry again

 **ennoway:** it’s fine, I’m sorry for pushing you. we’re friends though, it’s okay to share things with us, you know

 **ennoway:** we may be a group of sarcastic shits but we know how to be there when it counts

 **ennoway:** do you want to talk about it?

 **yahabasanchan:** no it’s okay

 **yahabasanchan:** it’s my fault anyway

 **yahabasanchan:** I’ll make it up to him eventually I promise

 **futacchi:** I just called teru he’s on his way to seijou

 **yahabasanchan:** what??? why??

 **futacchi:** we’re gonna fix this and you’re gonna come to ennoshita’s thing and have fun

 **yahabasanchan:** no!! seriously you don’t have to!!!

 **futacchi:** bitch yes we do

 **yahabasanchan:** you’re a little shit

 **futacchi:** I know

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** hey, futakuchi? update me if you can

 **ennoway:** I asked tanaka to talk to kyoutani

 **futacchi:** we’re @ seijou and teru’s flirting with yahaba’s fanclub

 **futacchi:** we’re hoping they know where he is because he’s not in the gym

 **futacchi:** oh yeah we passed watari shinji

 **futacchi:** seijou’s libero

 **futacchi:** he says that the fight is about them not trusting each other on the court

 **futacchi:** apparently yahaba doesn’t toss to his ace unless he thinks he deserves it

 **ennoway:** yikes… that’s not good

 **futacchi:** uncertain when this started

 **futacchi:** apparently kyou said something about yahaba wanting to copy oikawa so badly that he lost his own touch

 **ennoway:** oh wow ok I know the feeling

 **futacchi:** yahaba obv did not take that well

 **ennoway:** no kidding

 **futacchi:** yahaba’s basically been a bitch about this one thing for days

 **futacchi:** and he’s lashin out at people because of it

 **ennoway:** that sucks

 **futacchi:** yeah. and he feels bad about it too

 **futacchi:** self esteem issues you know

 **futacchi:** what did he call it?? setter expectations?

 **futacchi:** but apparently kyou just thinks he doesn’t want him on the team anymore

 **ennoway:** oh no

 **futacchi:** we found him btw

 **futacchi:** teru’s got him pinned

 **futacchi:** but he won’t talk to us :/

 **ennoway:** where are you?

 **futacchi:** home ec room, top floor of some big white building with lots of windows

 **ennoway:** tanaka’s gonna bring kyoutani there, okay?

 **futacchi:** mkay

 **ennoway:** don’t you DARE start a fight

 **futacchi:** relax

 **futacchi:** I may be a sarcastic shit but I know how to be there when it counts

* * *

 

 **shirabunbun:** it’s been awfully quiet

 **shirabunbun:** not that I care but

 **shirabunbun:** did seijou get things sorted?

 **teru-chan:** I think so!

 **teru-chan:** I gave yahaba many hugs

 **teru-chan:** also I tried to hug his ace but the dude bit me :(

 **teru-chan:** it was a good solid bite and there is now a red mark on my arm

 **veryakaashi:** sorry I couldn’t contribute anything

 **veryakaashi:** tokyo and all

 **veryakaashi:** I’d be there if I could

 **futacchi:** don’t worry, all you missed was yahaba being a baby as usual  

 **yahabasanchan:** shut up. I just get really caught up in little things ok

 **yahabasanchan:** I didn’t think it hurt him that much and that was stupid of me

 **yahabasanchan:** I thought he just hated me because I’m not half as good as oikawa

 **shirabunbun:** what did I say about oikawa tooru

 **shirabunbun:** one is already too much. two is overkill

 **shirabunbun:** we don’t need more oikawas in the world

 **shirabunbun:** delete him

 **yahabasanchan:** you insult MY senpai in MY time of need

 **yahabasanchan:** I get that you’re trying to be supportive shirabu, but now I’m just mad again

 **shirabunbun:** mad that oikawa tooru exists

 **yahabasanchan:** SHIRABU I WILL THROW A VOLLEYBALL AT YOUR HEAD

 **shirabunbun:** with what? your skinny little baby arms?

 **futacchi:** at least things are back to normal

 **ennoway:** so are we all good for this weekend?

 **yahabasanchan:** yeah! we’ll be there

 **shirabunbun:** we’ll probably be there I’ll ask kawanishi

 **futacchi:** pantalons’ real name is onagawa tarou

 **teru-chan:** if I’m the first one there, will u reward me

 **ennoway:** everyone’s in I’m glad

 **ennoway:** Akaashi?

 **veryakaashi:** I’ll be on a trip

 **ennoway:** oh yeah! Have a safe one!

 **veryakaashi:** can’t guarantee that

 **ennoway:** die then

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** wake up everyone!

 **ennoway:** wake up everyone!

 **ennoway:** wake up everyone!

 **shirabunbun:** IT’S ONLY 5AM

 **ennoway:** it sure is

 **futacchi:** ennoshita… what the fuck… it’s still dark outside and I can’t even see my feet

 **shirabunbun:** that’s cause you’re too fucking tall

 **futacchi:** I don’t appreciate this cruelty at 5 in the AM thank you very much

 **teru-chan:** I think it’s cute that ennoshita’s excited

 **yahabachansan:** god itk ‘s  t oo f uckoign early g o back to slep

 **teru-chan:** and yahaba is clearly not a morning person

 **ennoway:** I’m surprised at the turnout actually

 **ennoway:** I didn’t expect all of you to be woken by notifications

 **ennoway:** but this is impressive

 **ennoway:** everyone’s here except Akaashi

 **shirabunbun:** probably muted us for the day

 **shirabunbun:** miyagi event and all

 **teru-chan:** aww :( akaashi will never know how much I love them

 **ennoway:** I’m sure Akaashi is aware

 **veryakaashi:** I am

 **veryakaashi:** both aware and here and going to destroy ennoshita chikara

 **ennoway:** sorry for waking you up!

 **veryakaashi:** you’re not sorry

 **ennoway:** you’re right I’m not

 **veryakaashi:** I’m going to eat my suitcase

* * *

 

Akaashi, who was lying and did not actually want to eat their suitcase, wheeled the item out of their house a good half hour later, and stepped outside the door to join it. The trains ran from as early as 3 in the morning, for whatever the reason may have been, but they were not overtly keen on rousing the rest of Fukurodani so early.

It was just their luck that Ennoshita had decided to wake the captains up at 5, because that gave them adequate time to gather the rest of their team, as well as call through to Nekoma – Kenma had sent them around a dozen death threats over text, but after replying with a succinct _’suffer with me’_ they pretended not to see them – and arrive at Shinjuku station by 7:30.

They did a quick head count, as they were used to doing as captain, and leafed through the route map with Yamamoto.

“It’ll take at least two and a half hours to get to Miyagi,” they told him. “Do you think everyone is okay with that?”

Yamamoto suppressed a loud yawn, “I mean, everyone will probably be asleep! It’s way too early for this.”

“Karasuno had to do the same to come to our training camps, I’m sure we can make this sacrifice for them, too.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t a training camp, is it?”

“True.” Akaashi mused. “Ennoshita is the only one who knows we’re coming. Our coaches have discussed it though. They’ll be driving down later today to check in on us, so we should treat it just like a training camp. I mean, you’ve always wanted to try your hand at beating Shiratorizawa, right?”

Yamamoto grinned, raising a fist in the air. “Nothing like a good fight to keep the blood pumping!”

“… not at a fight.” Akaashi deadpanned. “At volleyball.”

“Oh yeah.” Yamamoto said, quieter this time. “That too.”

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** you guys get some exciting morning activities

 **ennoway:** help me set up!

 **shirabunbun:** is karasuno even big enough to have so many teams at once?

 **ennoway:** we will set up some courts outside too!

 **futacchi:** why do we have to help you set up

 **ennoway:** because we need to get out supplies and prizes and food and all that fun stuff

 **ennoway:** and set up cameras :)

 **futacchi:** are you sure this isn’t for your film project

 **ennoway:** I want to record something so we have the memories!

 **ennoway:** daichi told me the third years did something like this too

 **ennoway:** just as a little collective group!

 **ennoway:** but you know me

 **ennoway:** go hard or go home

 **futacchi:** up until recently, you always picked the latter

 **ennoway:** shut your mouth

 **teru-chan:** yeah kenji

 **teru-chan:** now chikara wants to go hard ;)

 **ennoway:** shut your mouth too

 **ennoway:** come and help me set up already

 **shirabunbun:** don’t you have a vice captain to help you?

 **ennoway:** he’s asleep! Why wake him up when I have you guys?

 **futacchi:** ennoshita you

 **ennoway:** :3c

 **futacchi:** I cannot believe

* * *

 

True to his word, Ennoshita had somehow acquired many boxes of _things_ , and they all lay unopen in Karasuno’s gym. He sat on top of one of them while he waited, clearly with no intention of working on his own.

Shirabu was the first to arrive, perhaps due to Shiratorizawa’s location and living on campus, and Ennoshita immediately sent the sleepy setter off to set up the nets outside. He grumbled the whole way, but Ennoshita paid him no mind – he’d probably be fine in an hour or so.

Futakuchi stumbled in moments later, and flopped onto a box being entirely unhelpful. Ennoshita, with narrowed eyes, told him to just start opening everything and folding the boxes into a neat pile to be recycled. Futakuchi started doing so for a while, before he found a box big enough to fit himself inside it, and started playing with that instead.

Terushima came in fifteen minutes later already holding a bunch of party supplies – and Ennoshita just sighed and told him, “Yes. You can do the decorating. Not that we need decorating, but you can do it anyway.”

While they worked, in various states of attentiveness, Ennoshita had to call Yahaba because it was starting to look like the brunet wasn’t going to show up.

“I’m coming!” Yahaba had replied as soon as he picked up the phone, a lot peppier than he sounded over text.

“How long will you be?” Ennoshita asked.

“Soon-ish?”

Ennoshita frowned. “Yahaba, are you styling your hair?”

“It’s _natural_ ,” Yahaba insisted. “No. I’m just eating.”

“Come here and eat. I have food.”

“I don’t want your food.”

“ _Yahaba_.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!”  

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** Akaashi? Update?

 **veryakaashi:** on my way

 

_veryakaashi has sent an image._

**ennoway:** cute

 **ennoway:** Hinata will be so happy to see Kenma again

 **ennoway:** Tanaka and Tora too

 **veryakaashi:** what about me?

 **ennoway:** I’ll be happy to see you 

 **veryakaashi:** thanks suffer buddy

 **ennoway:** no problem. Sorry you have to come all this way

 **veryakaashi:** it’s fine

 **veryakaashi:** Tokyo training camp is in a few weeks

 **veryakaashi:** I’ll just pay you back then

 **ennoway:** do your worst!

* * *

 

Akaashi watched the scenery passing by outside the window. On the seat opposite, Tora was fast asleep. Fukunaga was fiddling with his phone beside him, and next to Akaashi sat Kenma, engrossed in his own little game world, quietly tapping away.

It was slightly nerve wracking, still, to think that they were being whisked off to Miyagi and it wasn’t with Kuroo or Bokuto leading the way. Akaashi, despite being universally known as somewhat responsible, was feeling both exhilarated and a touch terrified.

Their last experience with Miyagi, without the comfort of a third year (now graduated upperclassmen) by their side, had involved horses and the menace that was Terushima Yuuji and Futakuchi Kenji combined. Not to mention the unending rivalry between Seijou and Shiratorizawa – Akaashi hadn’t thought it could get any worse, but was proven wrong time and time again.

Still, Akaashi felt a sense of unity with the newly risen captains. It was like finding people who understood the same struggles, and were fumbling their way through captaincy despite their own past experience or lack thereof. It really did feel like unity.  

And as their gaze swept to Tora, blissfully out of the loop, they decided that the final piece of the fresh captain squad was going to be theirs to put into place.

* * *

 

When the clock hit around 8:30 or so, Ennoshita took his time observing his fellow captains’ work. Everything was more or less set out the way he had planned – okay, maybe there were a lot more streamers than he originally intended, but he could roll with that – and so he clapped his hands together and told the others to scurry off and round up their teams.

It was only then that he had made the call to Tanaka, who in turn called up Nishinoya, and the two were thus in charge of hunting down all of the Karasuno second and first years. Ennoshita called up Narita and Kinoshita as well, but these two were just to help him do final check-ups: read over the match-ups, make sure all the equipment was pumped and ready, sweep the floors for any leftover mess, and anything else that struck his fancy.

Leaving the scene to his third years’ capable hands, he shot off down to the station, ready to greet the Tokyo teams upon their arrival.  

* * *

 

“Hey,” Akaashi heard, the moment they and the rest of Fukurodani and Nekoma walked out of the station. Ennoshita had been waiting for them, and was waving from his spot against a wall.

“Hey.” Akaashi greeted.

“ENNOSHITA!” Yamamoto shouted from behind, leaping forward to shake Karasuno’s captain’s hand. “Long time no see!”

“It’s been a while,” He agreed. “Come on. You guys had two hours to rest up. It’s time to get active.”

“Yeah! I’m pumped!” Yamamoto shouted again, and Kenma flinched at the volume. “Everyone! Get over here! We’re heading to Karasuno now! Time to pound some Miyagi teams into the dust!”

“Same as usual?” Ennoshita asked Akaashi with a quiet but amused murmur.

Akaashi sighed. “Same as usual.”

* * *

 

Back at Karasuno, things were growing hectic.

Thanks to Ennoshita’s careful planning, the first few matches were supposed to be casualty-free, but already, with Terushima and Shirabu facing down; he could tell there was nothing he could do to prevent any imminent deaths.

He ushered the Tokyo teams to the side, got them to store away their luggage and get changed, and hurried out to check on the current matches with Coach Ukai.

“They started already?” Ennoshita asked, waving his hand at Johzenji and Shiratorizawa.

“Couldn’t wait.” Ukai sighed. “Everyone’s been eyeing down Shiratorizawa for a while, so Terushima decided he would lighten up the mood by challenging them to a match. It’s just a coincidence that they were supposed to play each other first.”

Ennoshita nodded in understanding. He had written Johzenji up against Shiratorizawa, and Seijou up against Datekou to start off – because the Tokyo teams still needed to stretch and prepare. One starting earlier than the other was no big deal. They’d just play until time was up, anyway.

He told Ukai to let Yahaba and Futakuchi (as well as their respective coaches) know that they could start playing as soon as they were ready. Karasuno would start off doing drills, because Ennoshita liked to make his team suffer.

Just kidding.

Ennoshita had planned to set Karasuno up against each other to begin with, and their second round would be played against Seijou. However, this plan was currently not happening because Hinata had run off the moment he saw Kenma, Tanaka and Nishinoya had dived off to greet Yamamoto, and Tsukishima was slowly inching away from an all-too-enthusiastic Lev.

Kageyama and Yamaguchi stood awkwardly to the side, joined by Seijou’s Kyoutani and Datekou’s Aone, but none of them were engaging in conversation. The Karasuno first years were standing, stock still, staring at Shiratorizawa and Johzenji’s match.

Ennoshita, wondering why his team was so easily distracted, decided he would simply leave them be for now.

* * *

 

After the first bout of hesitance, the games picked up quickly. Akaashi found that they no longer worried about where people were, or how the teams from Miyagi were perceiving them – the only focus the setter had was on their team and their team alone.

It was almost a completely reformed team too – the Fukurodani starting team of last year had graduated, five out of the total seven of them – so the only person Akaashi had played with for a good solid year was in fact, Onaga, and the two of them did their best to fire up their team in their own way.

Akaashi shook hands with all the Miyagi captains they’d spoken to – Yahaba, Futakuchi, Terushima, Shirabu, and of course, Ennoshita – and it felt truly like all the pieces came together. They were still on opposite sides of the court but there was no animosity between them; maybe a flirty wink from Terushima and a good solid grip from Shirabu, but that was how it was always going to be.

The thrill of volleyball came shooting up Akaashi’s hands, and they knew everything was going to be alright.

* * *

 

Of course, Ennoshita had never explicitly stated that there would be a metric ton of food, but as with all unannounced things, somebody had figured it out and word had spread, and basically food was everywhere.

And it was to be expected, really, but amidst all the big eaters consuming their weight in rice and meat and fish, the captains somehow ended up all in one place.

“Shirabu, behind you, Kenji’s trying to steal your food,” Terushima pointed out. When Futakuchi shot him a look of utter betrayal, Terushima just cackled and popped a skewer of meat into his mouth, biting down with vigor.

“Get your own,” Shirabu growled, shuffling away from Futakuchi’s chopsticks. “You could stab someone in the eye with those.”

“I’m a very careful person,” Futakuchi blatantly lied, as he shut his eyes and accidentally elbowed Yahaba in an attempt to cross his arms. He pouted and used both his hands to shove at Seijou’s setter. “Yahaba, get out of my way.”

“I’m not in your way!” Yahaba protested, looking indignant. “You’re the one that –”

“Now, now,” Yamamoto interjected, a heavy pat on both their backs. “Why argue when there’s food? Go eat, and fight later!”

“Why isn’t he in our group chat?” Ennoshita whispered to Akaashi, only just realizing this crucial detail.

Akaashi paused, a slice of meat halfway to their mouth. “He doesn’t have skype.”

“Tell him to get one.”

“I did. He doesn’t see the point.”

Ennoshita frowned. “You can be very convincing. Do you think you can make him get one?”

Akaashi looked contemplative, then bit down on the meat and hummed. “Sure.”

In the distance, Shirabu was chasing Yahaba who was chasing Futakuchi, and Yamamoto looked sorely impressed. Terushima had begun to collect skewers and stick them together with whatever he could find. Ennoshita didn’t want to know what he was up to so he didn’t ask.

* * *

 

 **ennoway:** what a day!

 **ennoway:** ready for Sunday?

 **veryakaashi:** no

 **teru-chan:** Y E S

 **yahabasanchan:** shiratorizawa better watch their back

 **shirabunbun:** loser

 **futacchi:** let datekou win

 **ennoway:** you can’t just say that futakuchi

 **futacchi:** it’s for good luck

 **futacchi:** you don’t know me, you don’t know my life

 **ennoway:** let datekou lose

 **yahabasanchan:** seconded

 **shirabunbun:** seconded

 **shirabunbun:** fuck

 **yahabasanchan:** hahaha bye

 **futacchi:** why must you all attack me like this

* * *

 

The games went harder on Sunday; the competitive spirit rising with every win and every loss. Even though it was all in good fun, the scores were drafted carefully and meticulously, as every team fought for the top.

Sweating and heaving, they played game after game, punctuated by playful jabs at other teams and overall merriment; combined with their love of the sport. Even the managers got into the spirit, and collectively played a little mini game off to the side – perhaps to the distraction of many, but Ennoshita was glad at least his own team had their eyes on the ball the entire time.  

In the end, it was Nekoma that came out victorious – to which Yamamoto hollered – and as Nekoma’s captain, he started to thank every single person they had played against over the entirety of the weekend. He managed to drag Fukunaga along with him, as Kenma dashed off to escape, and the two Nekoma third years made their rounds; Yamamoto yelling and Fukunaga nodding in encouragement.

The Tokyo teams had to take the train back home at 4, so lunch was an intense celebratory affair.

For whatever bizarre reason, Terushima and Futakuchi tag-teamed to kick off a wheelbarrow race; but after a few moments of observation, Ennoshita decided that he absolutely did not want to know how it was turning out.

Members from Johzenji were dogpiling, and Futakuchi grabbed his teammate Pantalons to try and knock them all down.

Ennoshita took his place beside Akaashi, watching the other with a pensive smile.

“Are you glad you came?” He asked. “I know it’s different. Not having Bokuto. Not having Daichi is weird for me, too.” He looked over at his underclassmen, stuffing their faces. “Not having Sugawara there to assure us everything is going to be okay. Not having Asahi there to rely on, and to worry about things so we don’t have to. It’s weird. Different.”  

“It is different.” Akaashi answered, but it wasn’t sad. “It’s not like they’re actually gone though. Did I ever tell you the adventures of Kuroo and Bokuto after they finally graduated? If anything, they missed us more than we missed them.”

“God, do I want to know?” Ennoshita laughed. “But you’re right. I guess I’m thinking too much. It’s weird being captain. You tend to think a lot more.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” A smile graced Akaashi’s lips as the setter gestured pointedly to the Johzenji-Datekou dogpile, crowned by their respective captains and being yelled at by Yahaba. Shirabu looked like he wanted to kick the pile of people, but wanted to remain cool and composed at the same time, so he ended up just glowering at them all with his fists clenched until Yahaba started to yell at him, too.

“You’re right.” Ennoshita said with a roll of his eyes, but flicking out his phone to take a well-framed shot of the scene anyway. “Forget I even said anything.”

* * *

 

 **teru-chan:** good shit today

 **teru-chan:** my soul has ascended

 **futacchi:** is it because Akaashi touched your hand when he gave you a ball

 **teru-chan:** no

 **teru-chan:** maybe

 **teru-chan:** I saw u skirting around u know who

 **teru-chan:** wanna tell me about that? ;)

 **futacchi:** haha no

 **yahabasanchan:** ooohhh does futakuchi have a crush on somebody???

 **futacchi:** butt out yahaba

 **yahabasanchan:** you get to poke fun at me all the time but you never tell me anything

 **ennoway:** give him time, Yahaba

 **yahabasanchan:** aren’t you curious???

 **ennoway:** he’ll tell when he wants to tell

 **futacchi:** thanks ennoshita

 **ennoway:** no problem!

 **ennoway:** now I’m exhausted so I’m going to sleep for a whole week

 **ennoway:** see you guys next time

 **veryakaashi:** I’m going to sleep too good night everyone

 **futacchi:** good night

 **yahabasanchan:** sweet dreams

 **teru-chan:** good night! think of me!

 **shirabunbun:** weak

 **futacchi:** shirabu go to sleep

* * *

 

 **yahabasanchan:** ok but

 **shirabunbun:** oh no

 **shirabunbun:** don’t even finish that sentence

 **shirabunbun:** every time you want to say something you think is hash tag relatable you always start with ‘ok but’ and I have had enough of this  

 **veryakaashi:** ‘hash tag relatable’  

 **shirabunbun:** I do not appreciate this

 **yahabasanchan:** you know what fine I’ll tell you something else then

 **yahabasanchan:** I lo

 **shirabunbun:** yes, you love Oikawa, we know, you love Oikawa so much, he’s the light of your life, you love him so much, you just love Oikawa Tooru, we KNOW, you love Oikawa you fucking love Oikawa ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE OIKAWA. WE GET IT.

 **yahabasanchan:** lost my phone*

 **yahabasanchan:** what the fuck did you just have that saved somewhere

 **yahabasanchan:** ready and waiting??? who even does that???

 **yahabasanchan:** shirabu, why are you so obsessed with me?

 **shirabunbun:** stop making it all about you

 **shirabunbun:** it’s not all about you

 **yahabasanchan:** fight me

 **shirabunbun:** I would but you’d lose

 **veryakaashi:** why have we made 0 progress from when we started

 **futacchi:** I know right

 **futacchi:** let’s all just take a knife

 **yahabasanchan:** WHY A KNIFE

 **futacchi:** take a knife

 **futacchi:** and cut a slice of cake to share between the two of you because violence is never the answer

 **shirabunbun:** cheapskate I want a full slice

 **futacchi:** cut two slices of cake because shirabu doesn’t like sharing

 **futacchi:** and because violence is never the answer

 **shirabunbun:** I want the whole cake

 **futacchi:** DON’T BE GREEDY

 **shirabunbun:** I happen to be desiring the perfect amount of cake for somebody in my situation

 **futacchi:** what situation??? can you even eat a whole cake by yourself???

 **shirabunbun:** is that a challenge

 **yahabasanchan:** oh my god shirabu NO

 **yahabasanchan:** you’re gonna be sick!!

 **shirabunbun:** in the words of many before me

 **shirabunbun:** go hard or go home

 **yahabasanchan:** SHIRABU NO

 **futacchi:** I’M

 **futacchi:** SHIRABU I WAS JOKING

 **veryakaashi:** let shirabu live

 **yahabasanchan:** oh god he’s gonna be so sick

 **futacchi:** if anyone asks, it wasn’t me

* * *

 

 **futacchi:** has anyone heard from shirabu it’s been 12 hours

 **ennoway:** futakuchi what did you do

 **futacchi:** nothing!!!! yahaba can vouch for me

 **yahabasanchan:** futakuchi made shirabu go and eat an entire cake and he hasn’t responded for the last 12 hours

 **futacchi:** YOU SNITCH

 **ennoway:** okay does anyone want to go and make sure he’s still alive

 **veryakaashi:** I’ll go

 **ennoway:** akaashi, you are the furthest away and thus the least helpful person here

 **veryakaashi:** oh

 **ennoway:** futakuchi? yahaba?

 **futacchi:** I’m too young to die

 **yahabasanchan:** UGH FINE I’LL GO

 **futacchi:** thank you kind yahaba for sparing my soul I will offer you a slice of cake for your efforts

 **yahabasanchan:** I’m not doing it for you

* * *

 

 **shirabunbun:** I’m fine

 **yahabasanchan:** he’s not fine he’s lying on the floor and kawanishi looks uncharacteristically horrified

* * *

 

 **futacchi:** I hate to say it but he did that to himself

 **futacchi:** I didn’t tell him to do anything

 **shirabunbun:** I’m fine

 **yahabasanchan:** out of spite he got the biggest cake he could find

 **veryakaashi:** dear lord

* * *

 

 **teru-chan:** kenjirou parties hard

 **teru-chan:** I can respect that

 **ennoway:** I’m so very concerned right now

* * *

 

 **shirabunbun:** seriously I’m fine. I win

 **futacchi:** I’m not even mad

 **yahabasanchan:** I’m giving this one to shirabu

 **yahabasanchan:** he did his best

 **shirabunbun:** fuck you I did more than my best

 **futacchi:** NO NO NO

 **futacchi:** NO FIGHTING

 **futacchi:** WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH TO ROUND TWO

 **yahabasanchan:** I’ll fight futakuchi then

 **futacchi:** come at me bro

* * *

 

 **veryakaashi:** guess who finally got skype after weeks of me passive aggressively sending texts that just read ‘the bitch club wants you’ over and over again

 **futacchi:** akaashi… that was oddly specific

 **yahabasanchan:** ok but

 **yahabasanchan:** when does passive aggressive start becoming actually aggressive because I think you’ve crossed the line a bit there

 **veryakaashi:** it’s okay I have experience dealing with his type

 **veryakaashi:** the more direct the better

 **veryakaashi:** now say hello

 **veryakaashi:** to the one

 **veryakaashi:** and only

_veryakaashi has added GOODMAN to the conversation._

**veryakaashi:** captain of nekoma high

 **veryakaashi:** yamamoto taketora

 **veryakaashi:** here he is

 **GOODMAN:** DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER ME

 **futacchi:** A GOOD MAN HAS JOINED US

 **teru-chan:** GOOD MAN GOOD MAN GOOD MAN

 **GOODMAN:** I LIKE IT HERE ALREADY

 **veryakaashi:** you’ll regret those words

 **shirabunbun:** nice to meet you again

 **GOODMAN:** IT’S GREAT TO SEE YOU SHIRABUNBUN!!!!

 **shirabunbun:** I guess

 **shirabunbun:** why are you shouting

 **GOODMAN:** THIS IS HOW I LIKE TO TYPE

 **shirabunbun:** calm down

 **GOODMAN:** I AM HAPPY WITH THIS DEVELOPMENT

 **yahabasanchan:** tora!! Hello!

 **GOODMAN:** OHHHH IT’S YAHABASANCHAN!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!

 **yahabasanchan:** how are you???

 **GOODMAN:** I’M GOOD MAN

 **futacchi:** since when were you so friendly with each other

 **GOODMAN:** OH FUTACCHI!!!! ARENT YOU THE TALL ANNOYING ONE THAT KENMA HATES

 **GOODMAN:** DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT

 **futacchi:** ok first of all

 **GOODMAN:** I WILL FIGHT YOU!!!!

 **futacchi:** violence is never the answer

 **GOODMAN:** WHAT’S A FEW FISTS BETWEEN MEN

 **teru-chan:** omfg

 **teru-chan:** good man you are a good man

 **teru-chan:** a very good man

 **teru-chan:** we’re gonna be the best of friends

 **GOODMAN:** THANK YOU TERU-CHAN MAN

 **GOODMAN:** YOU ARE A VERY GOOD MAN

 **GOODMAN:** THAT RHYMED AWESOME

 **shirabunbun:** you can’t rhyme man with man that’s awful

 **GOODMAN:** ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY SICK RHYMING SKILLS

 **GOODMAN:** I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW

 **GOODMAN:** MY MOTHER IS VERY PROUD OF MY BRILLIANT POETRY

 **teru-chan:** don’t listen to him tora he’s wrong!!

 **teru-chan:** ur rhymes are rad as hell

 **veryakaashi:** you know what

 **veryakaashi:** why did I think this was a good idea

 **GOODMAN:** THANK YOU TERU-CHAN

 **GOODMAN:** WHAT DID YOU SAY VERYAKAASHI???

 **GOODMAN:** DON’T YOU MEAN… BEST IDEA

 **veryakaashi:** can you please not refer to us by screenname

 **GOODMAN:** WHY DID YOU SET IT AS YOUR NAME

 **GOODMAN:** IF YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE YOUR NAME

 

_futacchi has changed teru-chan’s name to my boyfriend._

**my boyfriend:** high to the five, kenji

 **futacchi:** anytime

 **GOODMAN:** WHY IS TERU-CHAN MY BOYFRIEND NOW

 **my boyfriend:** good question!! when did we start dating, babe?

 **GOODMAN:** I’M CONFUSED

 **GOODMAN:** MY NAME ISN’T BABE

 **my boyfriend:** ur not gonna deny that we’re dating? ;)

 **GOODMAN:** WHAT

 **GOODMAN:** I’M NOT DATING ANYONE

 **GOODMAN:** IF I WAS DATING SOMEBODY I WOULD KNOW

 **ennoway:** Yamamoto

 **GOODMAN:** ENNOWAY

 **GOODMAN:** YES WHAT IS IT

 **ennoway:** welcome to hell and I'm so, so sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I aimed for gratuitous shirabu for s3 and ended up with more yahaba again why does this always happen to me


End file.
